Saying Goodbye

“If it doesn’t break your heart, it isn’t love. If it doesn’t break your heart, it isn’t enough.”

           

                                                                                    “Yet” by Switchfoot

It is difficult to put into words all of the things that I am feeling as I am saying goodbye to all of my students, to my classroom, and to a school that I love. For many, the last day of school might be a cause for celebration, but for me, I am overwhelmed with tears and emotion. I do not know if I am supposed to feel this way because I have never seen this happen before. In all of my years as a student, teachers would come and go. Year after year, some would leave to a different city; some would retire. It was a normal occurrence that never brought anyone to tears.

But my heart is broken and shattered, knowing that I will be leaving students that I love. It is perhaps unlikely that I will ever see them in person again. My students are more than students; they are my friends. I know that I love each of them dearly because it breaks my heart to leave. I gave them everything, all of me, and all of my heart, these past two years. I sought to make my classroom a place where all students would feel loved and cared for. I sought to know my students as real people. I sought to love them, even when I felt like I couldn’t love anymore.   

When I started teaching two years ago, I wanted to be an once-in-a-lifetime teacher. I wanted to be the teacher that students would remember twenty years later. I wanted to be the teacher that students tell their grandchildren about. To all of my students, I hope I was that teacher for you. I will always love you. Farewell.

Grandma's Top Ten

Grandma’s Top Ten

If you ever met my Grandma, you know that she LOVED telling stories.  And if she ever told you stories, I’m sure you’ve heard some of these.  A mixture of advice and life experiences, I will always remember Grandma squeezing my hand and laughing as she told these ten stories, plus many more.

#10 Naming Her Daughters

            When I had your Aunt Diana, we really hadn’t decided on a name.  Nowadays,  people have their names picked out in advance, but we didn’t even know what we were having, a girl or a boy.  We didn’t have all this stuff to find out what you were having.  You just had to wait and see.  Anyway, when Diana was born, the doctor said, “It’s a girl.  What are you going to name her?” And well, we didn’t know.  But I looked up, and in the hospital room right there was a picture of Lady Di.  And I thought, “Well that’s a really nice name.”  So I said, “We’ll name her Diana.”

            When I had your Aunt Carol, it was right around Christmas time.  So I said, “Let’s name her Carol like a Christmas carol!”  Maria was named after my mother, and then there was Sandra.  All my girls were playing in the living room, and I told them that they could come up with the name for the baby.  And I went and made dinner while they talked and decided what kind of name to pick.  Finally, they came into me and said, “We decided.  We should name her Sandra.”

#9 Dancing with the Stars

            I just love that show, what’s it called?….Oh, that’s right, Dancing with the Stars.  I love dancing.  And you know what I always tell people?  I tell them that I’d love to be on that show.  If I was younger, I’d give them a call and say, “Hello, I would like to be on your show.”  I don’t think they want somebody like me, though.  But I sure do love dancing. 

#8 Football

            I always watch your dad’s games, you know that?  He’s such a good official.  Sometimes, I don’t even know who’s playing, and I don’t really care.  I just look for the official with the S on his back.  Sometimes, they give a really good shot of him, and I say, “That’s my son!”  He really does a good job, you know?  That’s why they gave him so many bowl games.  And I tell people all the time, I don’t really care who wins or loses, I’m just trying to see your dad.  And then there was that one time his hat fell off…

#7 Selling Beer

            What do you want to drink?  A beer? …You know, I don’t drink beer.  Isn’t that funny?  People always call the warehouse and say, “What kind of beer do you like the best?”  And you know what I say?  I say, “Well, I don’t really know.”  Cause I don’t drink any of it!  I just sell it!

#6 Holidays

            Well I’m not sure what I’m doing for Thanksgiving this year.  But you know what this lady told me at church?  She said, “You know, Josephine, you’ve cooked for many years.  Now it’s their turn to cook for you!”  And I reckon she was right!  I don’t know how many times I made all that food, had all those people over.  Now it’s their turn to cook for me!

#5 Tony’s Birth Story

            My children always came really fast.  When I was pregnant with your dad, I was cooking in the kitchen and I told Tony, “Tony, I need to go to the hospital.  I’m going to have this baby.”  And he put me in the car and he said, “Josephine, don’t have it in the car! Don’t have it in the car!!”  And he waved his white handkerchief out the window cause someone told him the cars would get out of the way, but they didn’t.  Anyway, I got to the hospital, and they took me in where all these women were waiting to have their babies.  And I got to go in front of them even though they had been waiting longer than me.  And I felt bad, and I think they were even mad at me, but I couldn’t help it.  Anyway, I had your dad before Tony even came back from parking the car!  So I hope you have your babies as easy as I did!

#4 Curly Hair and Earrings

            Josy, you have hair just like mine!  Me and my sisters, we all had curly hair.  Nowadays, everybody wants curly hair.  They get perms and do all this stuff to make their hair curly.  But back then, people would tease us and make fun of us.   They also didn’t like our earrings cause nobody had earrings.  But now, everybody has earrings. And they pierce their eyebrows and bellybuttons and everything else too!

#3 Josephine

            You know, Josy, when you were born, your dad called me to tell me he had a baby girl, and I said, “Well, what’d you name her, Tony?”  And he said, “Mom, we named her Josephine.”  And I said, “You did not, Tony!  You would never give her that name.  Come on, tell me.  What’d you name her?”  And he said, “We did, Mom.  We named her Josephine.”  But I still didn’t believe him.  I said, “Come on, Tony.  Stop teasing me.  What’d you name her?”  And he said again, “Mom, I’m not teasing you.  We named her Josephine.”  And finally after that I figured it out.  He really did. 

#2 School Days

When I was young, we had a dollhouse in our classroom at school.  It was a real nice one, you know with all the little rooms and furniture.  Well one day, my teacher asked if any of us girls in the class knew how to sew.  She needed someone to make curtains for the dollhouse.  So I raised my hand and said, “I can sew, Ma’am,” and another girl in my class, she raised her hand too.  So me and her both went home and made curtains and brought them in the next day, but I think the teacher liked mine best.  So she hung them up in the dollhouse, and I bet they’re still here to this day!

             …I was always pretty good at arithmetic.  But teachers didn’t like me and my sisters cause we were Italians.  Well one time my teacher said, “Josephine, you’ve been copying!” “Mrs. Mollohan, I was not copying.  It was Betty.  She was copying off of me.  So you try this.  Next time we take a test, you put me in one corner of the room and you put her in the other corner of the room.  You’ll see.”  And sure enough, the next time we took a test, I had a good grade.  And my teacher believed me after that. 

            …You know, when I was in school, I used to bring the most wonderful fried pepper sandwiches.  Well one day, my teacher, Mrs. RoAnne saw my sandwich, and she said, “My, my, Josephine.  That’s one good looking sandwich.  What kind is it?”  Well I told her it was a fried pepper sandwich on homemade bread, and do you know what she did?”  She said, “Josephine, will you trade sandwiches with me?”  Well, she was the teacher so I was a little scared to say no.  So I traded sandwiches with her, and hers was just terrible.  The bread was store bought, all white and floppy, and when I looked inside, it was bright yellow.  It tasted so nasty, and I had no idea what it was.  (Do you know what it was?  It was egg salad!!)  Well the next day, Mrs. RoAnne came in and said, “Josephine, that sandwich you gave me yesterday was mighty tasty.  Would you trade with me again today?”  But I said, “Not today, Mrs. RoAnne.”  And that’s what I told her every time she asked me after that.  “Not today, Mrs. RoAnne.”

#1 Never Tell a Lie

            The one thing my dad always taught me is that you never tell a lie.  Cause if you tell one lie, then you have to tell another and another, and eventually you won’t even remember what’s the truth and what isn’t.  I tell you…Always tell the truth no matter what.  Even if the person won’t like it.  My sister, Annie, she used to get her hair done every week.  And every time, she’d come home, and she’d say, “Josephine, do you like my hair?”  And usually I did, and I’d say, “Sure, Annie, I like it.”  Because I did.  It looked nice.  But one time, she came home from her haircut and said, “Josephine, do you like my hair?”  And I said, “No, Annie. I don’t like it.”  And she looked at me all mad, and I said, “Annie, if you don’t want to know what I really think about your hair, DON’T ASK!”  And you know what?  She never asked again. 

So just…take care of each other.  Be happy.  If you don’t like something he’s doing, tell him!  If you don’t like something she’s doing, tell her!  Always be honest with each other.  That’s the one thing my father always told me.  “Josephine, you never tell a lie.” 

Considering the Holocaust

Last week, I had the opportunity to chaperone a senior field trip to Washington D.C. I gladly accepted the opportunity because most of my students from my first-year teaching were attending. Washington D.C. was not unfamiliar to me, as my parents used to take me occasionally when I was a child. But I was excited to go again. I spent most of my afternoon in the Holocaust Memorial Museum. This post is a collection of my thoughts.

I sincerely regret my lack of effort in history class during my secondary education years. I sometimes wish I could go back and re-take some history classes. History can often feel unreal. When I think about the stories of American wars, revolutions, world wars, they can often feel too distant. But those were real stories. They really did happen, and people’s lives were affected. We can become de-sensitized to the tragedy, trauma, and suffering of human beings. We can study the stories and facts without a human heart and we can forget to empathize with our fellow human beings. The Holocaust is a well-known and well-taught event in history, but perhaps the frequency of which we discuss the Holocaust has caused us to become de-sensitized to its atrocities. My interest in the Holocaust is rooted in my belief that the Jewish people have an irrevocable calling from God and are central to the Gospel. How do we biblically interpret the events of the Holocaust? How should we respond? These are the very difficult questions that I was asking myself and that I am still asking myself.

As I walked through the Holocaust Museum, I asked the Lord to give me His heart concerning Israel. I asked Him to help me understand because my heart does not. I can’t say that I received any more clarity, but I was quite emotional through the exhibits. The museum guides visitors through a chronological sequence of the Holocaust and puts everything in context very well. The images and graphic become harder and harder to stomach as you walk through the museum. I have posted some pictures that I took (photograph is allowed at the museum). At the end of the museum, there is a memorial hall with Biblical verses on the walls. I walked in and my heart dropped when I saw the verse in front of me. It was Deuteronomy 30:19, “I call heaven and earth to witness this day; I have put before you life and death, blessing and curse, choose life – that you and your offspring shall live.” In this passage, the Lord is about to teach Moses a song that will bear witness against the sons of Israel. It is a song that declares that the people of Israel will indeed break the covenant, many evils and troubles will come upon them, and the Lord will have compassion and mercy on them. This is a song that was meant to testify against them when those things happened. Interestingly, the theme of the museum is “for the dead and the living we must bear witness.” If we are to take the Song of Moses seriously, then it is proper to say that the Holocaust is actually an outplaying of covenantal unfaithfulness? I cannot even imagine saying that statement to a Jewish person, being a Gentile myself. Did God hand over His people? Did God deliver His people to death? Did He allow His people to suffer and die?

During these past few weeks, I have also been reading a book, titled “Holocaust: A History”, written by Deborah Dwork and Robert Jan van Pelt. It is a secular book that I checked out from the library in hopes of understanding more about the Holocaust. One of the heavy focuses of the book is to explain this idea of pure and undefiled Aryan blood and to explore the progression of racism to genocide. Hitler writes in Mein Kampf, “It is a half-measure to let incurably sick people steadily contaminate the remaining health ones. This is in keeping with the humanitarianism which, to avoid hurting one individual, lets a hundred others perish. The demand that defective people by prevented from propagating equally defective offspring is a demand of the clearest reason and if systematically executed represents the most humane act of mankind.” These incurably sick people were the Jews and if he could find a way to stop their “propagation”, he would actually be performing an act of service for mankind. Are these ideas tied to Darwinism and natural selection? If natural selection is the means by which evolution progresses and species advance, then should we not let the weaker among us die? Better yet, should be “help“ the process of natural selection by exterminating the week? These are some very thought-provoking and challenging questions.

Lastly, this quote stood out to me the most after I finished reading the book I mentioned earlier. Many Jews were proponents of Zionism and persecution and genocide in Europe only strengthened the movement. Where else could Jews be safe? They looked towards their homeland. Speaking about the hope of Jewish state, the Viennese Jewish journalist, Theodor Herzl, wrote: “…in brief, like all civilized peoples; so that we may be able to form our state to educate our people for the tasks which at present still lie beyond our vision. For surely God would not have kept us alive if there were not assigned to us a specific role in the history of mankind.” I am astonished by this last sentence because even Herzl is able to recognize that His people have a specific calling from God. The Israelis that I have encountered have consistently told me about their resiliency as a people, that they are a people that simply know how to survive. They claim that it is their strength that allows them to survive, but I say that it is the will and power of God that destines this people.

My Hope (Album)

We recently completed our first full-length album and we want to share it with you. You can download it for free here. We hope that you will be encouraged by these personal songs that have been written from the place of prayer and devotion to Jesus.

https://husoever.bandcamp.com/releases

God's Faithfulness and the Issue of Israel

“From the standpoint of the gospel they are enemies for your sake, but from the standpoint of God’s choice they are beloved for the sake of the father; for the gifts and the calling of God are irrevocable.” (Rom. 11:28-29).

Joel Richardson writes in When a Jew Rules the World, “Paul could not have been more clear. He specifically stated that Israel’s calling is ‘irrevocable.’ Make no mistake: in brazen and direct conflict with the words of Paul, supersessionists argue that God has indeed revoked His calling and electron of corporate ethnic Israel.”

“Let us honestly ask ourselves which view better represents the God who refers to Himself as the God of Israel more than two hundred times throughout the Scriptures and which position portrays a God who is faithful and reliable?”

“I appeal to you with all sincerity to truly consider just what is being conveyed about God’s character when you espouse the view that God didn’t really mean what He said and that His words must be fundamentally reinterpreted or read figuratively to be understood properly. I urge you to consider the simple and straightforward position of restorationism, with its message concerning a faithful God who says what He means and can be absolutely trusted to accomplish all that He has promised.”

Over the past few years, the Lord has humbled me. My self-centered desires and ambitions have been gradually torn away; my worldview has dramatically shifted. Many wonder and question why I have become so adamant on the issue of Israel. To me, this is an issue of God’s faithfulness. It is a matter of whether I can believe in what the Scriptures say. Can I believe that if I repent and confess of my sins, God will be faithful to forgive? Can I believe in His blood as my atonement?