Grandma’s Top Ten
If you ever met my Grandma,
you know that she LOVED telling stories.
And if she ever told you stories, I’m sure you’ve heard some of these. A mixture of advice and life experiences, I
will always remember Grandma squeezing my hand and laughing as she told these
ten stories, plus many more.
#10 Naming Her Daughters
When
I had your Aunt Diana, we really hadn’t decided on a name. Nowadays, people have their names picked out in advance,
but we didn’t even know what we were having, a girl or a boy. We didn’t have all this stuff to find out
what you were having. You just had to
wait and see. Anyway, when Diana was
born, the doctor said, “It’s a girl.
What are you going to name her?” And well, we didn’t know. But I looked up, and in the hospital room
right there was a picture of Lady Di. And
I thought, “Well that’s a really nice name.”
So I said, “We’ll name her Diana.”
When
I had your Aunt Carol, it was right around Christmas time. So I said, “Let’s name her Carol like a
Christmas carol!” Maria was named after
my mother, and then there was Sandra.
All my girls were playing in the living room, and I told them that they
could come up with the name for the baby.
And I went and made dinner while they talked and decided what kind of
name to pick. Finally, they came into me
and said, “We decided. We should name
her Sandra.”
#9 Dancing with the Stars
I
just love that show, what’s it called?….Oh, that’s right, Dancing with the Stars. I
love dancing. And you know what I always
tell people? I tell them that I’d love
to be on that show. If I was younger,
I’d give them a call and say, “Hello, I would like to be on your show.” I don’t think they want somebody like me, though. But I sure do love dancing.
#8 Football
I
always watch your dad’s games, you know that?
He’s such a good official.
Sometimes, I don’t even know who’s playing, and I don’t really
care. I just look for the official with
the S on his back. Sometimes, they give
a really good shot of him, and I say, “That’s my son!” He really does a good job, you know? That’s why they gave him so many bowl games. And I tell people all the time, I don’t
really care who wins or loses, I’m just trying to see your dad. And then there was that one time his hat fell
off…
#7 Selling Beer
What
do you want to drink? A beer? …You know,
I don’t drink beer. Isn’t that
funny? People always call the warehouse
and say, “What kind of beer do you like the best?” And you know what I say? I say, “Well, I don’t really know.” Cause I don’t drink any of it! I just sell it!
#6 Holidays
Well
I’m not sure what I’m doing for Thanksgiving this year. But you know what this lady told me at
church? She said, “You know, Josephine,
you’ve cooked for many years. Now it’s
their turn to cook for you!” And I
reckon she was right! I don’t know how
many times I made all that food, had all those people over. Now it’s their turn to cook for me!
#5 Tony’s Birth Story
My
children always came really fast. When I
was pregnant with your dad, I was cooking in the kitchen and I told Tony,
“Tony, I need to go to the hospital. I’m
going to have this baby.” And he put me
in the car and he said, “Josephine, don’t have it in the car! Don’t have it in
the car!!” And he waved his white
handkerchief out the window cause someone told him the cars would get out of
the way, but they didn’t. Anyway, I got
to the hospital, and they took me in where all these women were waiting to have
their babies. And I got to go in front
of them even though they had been waiting longer than me. And I felt bad, and I think they were even mad
at me, but I couldn’t help it. Anyway, I
had your dad before Tony even came back from parking the car! So I hope you have your babies as easy as I
did!
#4 Curly Hair and Earrings
Josy,
you have hair just like mine! Me and my
sisters, we all had curly hair.
Nowadays, everybody wants curly hair.
They get perms and do all this stuff to make their hair curly. But back then, people would tease us and make
fun of us. They also didn’t like our
earrings cause nobody had earrings. But
now, everybody has earrings. And they pierce their eyebrows and bellybuttons
and everything else too!
#3 Josephine
You
know, Josy, when you were born, your dad called me to tell me he had a baby girl,
and I said, “Well, what’d you name her, Tony?”
And he said, “Mom, we named her Josephine.” And I said, “You did not, Tony! You would never give her that name. Come on, tell me. What’d you name her?” And he said, “We did, Mom. We named her Josephine.” But I still didn’t believe him. I said, “Come on, Tony. Stop teasing me. What’d you name her?” And he said again, “Mom, I’m not teasing
you. We named her Josephine.” And finally after that I figured it out. He really did.
#2 School Days
When I was young,
we had a dollhouse in our classroom at school.
It was a real nice one, you know with all the little rooms and
furniture. Well one day, my teacher
asked if any of us girls in the class knew how to sew. She needed someone to make curtains for the
dollhouse. So I raised my hand and said,
“I can sew, Ma’am,” and another girl in my class, she raised her hand too. So me and her both went home and made
curtains and brought them in the next day, but I think the teacher liked mine
best. So she hung them up in the
dollhouse, and I bet they’re still here to this day!
…I was always pretty good at arithmetic. But teachers didn’t like me and my sisters
cause we were Italians. Well one time my
teacher said, “Josephine, you’ve been copying!” “Mrs. Mollohan, I was not
copying. It was Betty. She was copying off of me. So you try this. Next time we take a test, you put me in one
corner of the room and you put her in the other corner of the room. You’ll see.”
And sure enough, the next time we took a test, I had a good grade. And my teacher believed me after that.
…You
know, when I was in school, I used to bring the most wonderful fried pepper
sandwiches. Well one day, my teacher,
Mrs. RoAnne saw my sandwich, and she said, “My, my, Josephine. That’s one good looking sandwich. What kind is it?” Well I told her it was a fried pepper
sandwich on homemade bread, and do you know what she did?” She said, “Josephine, will you trade
sandwiches with me?” Well, she was the
teacher so I was a little scared to say no.
So I traded sandwiches with her, and hers was just terrible. The bread was store bought, all white and
floppy, and when I looked inside, it was bright yellow. It tasted so nasty, and I had no idea what it
was. (Do you know what it was? It was egg salad!!) Well the next day, Mrs. RoAnne came in and
said, “Josephine, that sandwich you gave me yesterday was mighty tasty. Would you trade with me again today?” But I said, “Not today, Mrs. RoAnne.” And that’s what I told her every time she
asked me after that. “Not today, Mrs.
RoAnne.”
#1 Never Tell a Lie
The
one thing my dad always taught me is that you never tell a lie. Cause if you tell one lie, then you have to
tell another and another, and eventually you won’t even remember what’s the
truth and what isn’t. I tell you…Always
tell the truth no matter what. Even if
the person won’t like it. My sister,
Annie, she used to get her hair done every week. And every time, she’d come home, and she’d
say, “Josephine, do you like my hair?”
And usually I did, and I’d say, “Sure, Annie, I like it.” Because I did. It looked nice. But one time, she came home from her haircut
and said, “Josephine, do you like my hair?”
And I said, “No, Annie. I don’t like it.” And she looked at me all mad, and I said,
“Annie, if you don’t want to know what I really think about your hair, DON’T
ASK!” And you know what? She never asked again.
So
just…take care of each other. Be happy. If you don’t like something he’s doing, tell
him! If you don’t like something she’s
doing, tell her! Always be honest with
each other. That’s the one thing my
father always told me. “Josephine, you
never tell a lie.”